calculate ailey: I see relationships as pointless.

Psychocandy
Butterfly

Joined: Jul 14, 2012
Posts: 14
Location: Comfort Zone

Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 2:14 pm?? ?Post subject: I see relationships as pointless.

Can anybody else relate to this? For my entire life, I've always thought "love" and relationships were boring, restrictive, and nothing but trouble. Into my late teens, this has not changed - I have not had one "crush" or experienced "love." I'd find the idea of having to go out and meet a girl, socialise and keep up commitments a bit too frightening and I'm a person who enjoys being alone and having my space, so a clingy girlfriend would be torture for me. Does anybody else see eye to eye with what I've just written or am I the only aspie who doesn't even want a relationship?

Joined: Feb 01, 2012
Posts: 946
Location: The land of sin and windmills

Joined: Jul 14, 2012
Posts: 14
Location: Comfort Zone

Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 2:31 pm?? ?Post subject:

I just don't understand why people are so mad about being "in a relationship." There are an awful a lot of people that also say being a virgin makes you a "loser" and I usually roll my eyes at that. Why do people think having sex makes them successful? It just seems completely redundant to me, and I find it very moronic that people are so desperate to be viewed as "cool" by others by going around being man-whores.

Joined: Mar 24, 2012
Posts: 518
Location: California, USA

Joined: Jan 02, 2012
Age: 27
Posts: 1217
Location: Southampton, UK

Joined: Jul 14, 2012
Posts: 14
Location: Comfort Zone

Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 3:00 pm?? ?Post subject:

JanuaryMan wrote:

I think it's great for you that you feel indifferent with or without sex, romance and commitment as for many on this board it seems to be their goal or one thing they think about. You are free from the morbid cycle of wanting something and not getting it.

However, isn't going to a Love & Dating section to share this redundant in itself?

I can see why people would view it as redundant, but I'm more curious as to WHY people want relationships in the first place. I should

have mentioned that in the post, I guess.

Joined: Jan 02, 2012
Age: 27
Posts: 1217
Location: Southampton, UK

Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 3:06 pm?? ?Post subject:

Hmm. I definitely wouldn't say I need one. Have difficulty saying I'd want one. I guess I would like one but I'm not bothered. A lot of people will seek relationships for co-dependence and thinking it will bring them happiness. Others want the sex and intimacy on the tap. And some like being supported. Others do it for status reasons. Others insecurity. Some want to start a family. Some have a lot of love and they want to share it. There's a broad spectrum of reasons involved. If you are looking for personal testimonies I guess I enjoy the company of a friend that also happens to be a pretty woman I can occasionally do romantic and naughty things with lol. _________________ //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Joined: Jun 23, 2012
Posts: 29

Joined: Apr 23, 2012
Age: 26
Posts: 852
Location: UK

Joined: Jan 02, 2012
Age: 27
Posts: 1217
Location: Southampton, UK

Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 3:14 pm?? ?Post subject:

SilkySifaka wrote:

Perhaps you are asexual? Or maybe relationships just aren't for you. In the past there was more recognition that some people might choose to be single and there was a place in society for people who felt that way. I think these days there is an idea that choosing to live your life single is somehow a 'lesser' choice and I think that's a shame and also very inaccurate. It's possible that your feelings will change over time, but if not then it's perfectly acceptable to feel that way and live your life as you choose.

I do think this to be true. In the past when I was young I used to love the idea of being older because I could be a free spirit on my own and would be respected for my decision. Now it seems overpopulating our cities with vile people we cannot sustain is a very popular notion and is vigorously enforced onto people in our society.

Hopefully in 20-30 years technology will advance, corporatism will see a slump and people will start using their brains again.

Yes, in short relationships aren't for everyone.
_________________
//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Joined: Jun 23, 2012
Posts: 29

Joined: Aug 17, 2006
Age: 39
Posts: 2044
Location: Ontario

Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 3:27 pm?? ?Post subject:

Psychocandy wrote:

I can see why people would view it as redundant, but I'm more curious as to WHY people want relationships in the first place.

Mainly just to have one person you can trust, who will be your ally. It's hard, in life, having to keep your guard up with everyone all the time. Its nice to have just one person, with whom you don't have to. That's the ideal, anyhow. It can certainly fall well short of that.

Quote:

I'd find the idea of having to go out and meet a girl, socialise and keep up commitments a bit too frightening and I'm a person who enjoys being alone and having my space, so a clingy girlfriend would be torture for me.

It's not necessarily like that - you might, perhaps even by accident, meet one who doesn't like to go out and socialize and also enjoys being alone.

Quote:

There are an awful a lot of people that also say being a virgin makes you a "loser" and I usually roll my eyes at that.

Good.

Quote:

Why do people think having sex makes them successful?

I have no idea. If you truly don't need that or a relationship, I think you're rather lucky to be so self-sufficient. Just be sure you're not fooling yourself: